Sometimes,

when you have no control over your life and you kid yourself that you do, reality slaps you in the face and makes you cry "uncle!".
I miss her so much it's killing me. I'm glad she's happy.
I cannot get over this depression which has been biting my ass for at least 6 or more months and add the couple of years being lonely without her and the almost 4 years grief of the death of a family member.
I have no idea what it's like to be "normal" or happy.